Jun 26, 2024

Okay, gather 'round kids, it's storytime! *Hatsu Inu* is... something. It's like trying to make a romantic picnic in a sandbox - you might have some fun, but it's gonna be messy and confusing.

Our hero, Fukaya (who apparently has the emotional range of a wet sock) is kinda-sorta dating Shion, a girl who's about as talkative as a brick wall. Now, Shion REALLY likes her vibrator. Like, REALLY likes it. I'm talking "takes it on the train" level of like. Fukaya, bless his cotton socks, is convinced this means he's on par with a buzzing piece of plastic in her eyes (spoiler alert: he's not wrong).

There's a scene on a train that's just... yikes. Imagine a car crash between your awkward teenage fantasies and the clearance aisle at a drugstore. Even their teacher, who's about as helpful as a chocolate fireguard, gets involved (don't ask).

There are metaphors here, I guess. Like, Shion's love for the vibrator is like a runaway train - unstoppable and headed for disaster (or at least a very shocked cleaning crew). And Fukaya's attempts to win her over are like building a house of cards in a hurricane - pointless and messy.

Eventually, they do the do, which is less "Romeo and Juliet" and more "two confused puppies bumping noses". Shion even says she prefers him to the vibrator, which is either a heartwarming declaration of love or a sign that she needs a nap.

The ending? Oh, honey. Let's just say it involves a new vibrator and Fukaya questioning all his life choices. It's like the punchline to a joke told by someone who doesn't understand how jokes work.

So yeah, *Hatsu Inu* is an experience. If you're into awkward encounters, questionable relationships, and enough innuendo to make a sailor blush, this might be your jam. Just, uh, don't watch it with your parents. Or your pets. Or anyone with functioning eyes, really.