Harukoi Otome Episode 1

Harukoi Otome Episode 1 is like that train wreck you can't look away from. You know it's gonna be bad, but you gotta see how it all falls apart. This episode starts off normal enough, like a Disney movie where everyone bursts into song, except instead of singing, they're awkwardly talking about the boy-to-girl ratio at their fancy school, Saint Francesca.

Our main man, Akihito, is about as smooth as a cheese grater. He's got a sister complex the size of Texas, and his jokes are drier than the Sahara. He's got this weird thing going on with his sister, Umi, where he says creepy stuff and she gets mad. Like, really mad. It's like watching a hamster try to fight a lion.

The plot thickens faster than your mom's gravy when Akihito starts hooking up with his kendo senpai, Kisaya. Now, Kisaya is like that strict teacher who secretly loves giving out detention. She's all uptight and proper, except when she's not, if you catch my drift.

Meanwhile, Umi is moping around like someone stole her favorite teddy bear. Akihito finally realizes something's up and tries to figure out why Umi's acting weirder than usual. This leads him to Sonya, the resident bird whisperer who's always tangled up in something. She drops a bombshell: Umi might have the hots for her own brother!

Cue the dramatic flashback! Turns out, Umi isn't actually Akihito's real sister. She's a replacement for his childhood sweetheart who, wait for it, died in a tragic accident that he conveniently forgot. And guess what? He promised the dying girl he'd confess his feelings to his future sister. Talk about awkward!

The episode ends with Akihito and his other childhood friend, Yuika, getting busy. Yuika reveals that Umi has been waiting for Akihito to remember the accident and confess his feelings, all while attending the same school as him. Talk about adding insult to injury!

This episode is like a bad game of telephone. Everyone's got secrets, nobody's communicating, and there's a whole lot of inappropriate touching. It's messed up, it's predictable, and it'll leave you feeling like you need a shower. But hey, at least the animation's not bad?