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Jun 16, 2024
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Okay, so like, Episode 4 of Amakano is like a snow day gone REALLY REALLY wrong... or right, I guess? It's all about this dude, who seems to be a magnet for girls who are REALLY into PDA. Like, REALLY into it.

First, there's this girl, Mizuki, who's like the human version of a furnace because she's always hot. They go to this abandoned mountain lodge (because nothing screams romance like a dilapidated building) and things get steamy faster than you can say "frostbite." Mizuki's all about that rough stuff, like ripped stockings and being tied up - she even says it's like being "raped," but she seems cool with it?? I guess it's less Beauty and the Beast and more like... um... Consent and the Horny Teenager?

Then there's Koharu, who decides to give the dude a wake-up call... with her boobs. Apparently, she heard somewhere that guys like that, which, like, duh, we learn that in third grade health class. Then they do the horizontal monster mash and she's all worried about her boobs getting pregnant. Like, hello, basic biology much?

BUT THEN, plot twist! Turns out this whole time the dude is actually MARRIED! His wife, Sayuki, shows up and they get busy in a hot spring (because that's hygienic?). Sayuki's whole thing is wanting to get covered in... you know... her husband's "love goo." She even calls him "Danna-sama" which I Googled and apparently means "Master Husband." Talk about a weird pet name!

The episode ends with some super cheesy lines about melting snowflakes and never letting go, which, after all that other stuff, is kinda gross. It's like trying to put sprinkles on a plate of spaghetti and call it dessert.

So yeah, Amakano Episode 4: It's confusing, it's awkward, and it'll probably make you want to take a really long shower. Just saying.